The Skills Scaffold
A 5-Step System to Learn Anything Your Way
Step 1: Clarify the Why
This isn’t about goals - it’s about meaning.
I was stuck.
Overweight, burned out, ashamed, and stuck in a job I didn’t care about.
I wasn’t lazy, but I was lost.
What I didn’t realize back then was that I didn’t need more motivation. I needed a reason to care. Something that mattered enough to change my direction.
The Moment My Why Took Shape
One night, I wrote this sentence down in a notebook:
“I want to be a teacher.”
Not a manager. Not someone stuck in meetings pretending it mattered. A teacher.
Someone who helps people grow. Someone who makes learning feel possible.
That sentence didn’t fix everything, but instead, it changed everything. It gave me a reason to ask: Why does any of this matter?
What changed?
Knowing my purpose didn’t fix everything. But it changed how I approached everything.
I didn’t just want to lose weight - I wanted to have energy in the classroom.
I didn’t just want to read more - I wanted to learn so I could teach it.
I didn’t just want to feel better - I wanted to become someone I could be proud of.
My why created traction.
I didn’t need more motivation.
I needed meaning.
Why Purpose Comes First
If you’ve ever:
Started something strong and lost steam,
Jumped from project to project and wondered why nothing stuck,
Felt like your attention disappears the moment something feels hard…
You don’t need more focus.
You need more clarity.
The Power of Why
Viktor Frankl wrote:
“Those who have a why to live can bear almost any how.”
Frankl wasn’t talking about productivity. But the truth applies:
When your learning has purpose, it sticks.
When it doesn’t, your brain checks out.
ADHD and the Pursuit of Pleasure
If you have ADHD, you know how this goes:
New idea? Dopamine hit.
Starting something new? Dopamine hit.
Follow-through when it gets boring? That’s when things fall apart.
That’s not a flaw. It’s neurology.
And it’s exactly why purpose matters.
When a skill is emotionally tied to who you want to become, it give you more than just interest - it gives you drive.
Purpose won’t eliminate distraction. But it does give you a reason to return.
How to Clarify Your Why
Before you start building a skill, you need to know why it matters.
Not just logically—but emotinally.
In Step 1, we help you uncover the deeper reason you’re drawn to develop this skill in the first place. When your why is clear, progress feels more focused—and more sustainable.
Step 2: Break It Down
Direction without structure is still chaos.
Clarifying Your Purpose Give You Direction
But knowing your “why” only takes you so far when you don’t know where to begin.
How do I start learning a new skill when I don’t even know what the first step is?
Too many questions show up at once:
Where do I start?
What’s worth doing first?
How do I choose just one thing when I need to get better at so many?
If you’ve got an ADHD brain, this is where cognitive friction hits hard.
Everything feels important.
Nothing feels doable.
So you stall... or try to do everything at once... or start and stop. Again.
That’s Why Step 2 is: Break It Down.
This step isn’t about dumbing things down.
It’s about making them doable.
Breaking a skill into smaller pieces reduces overwhelm.
It lowers the mental entry point and gives your brain something it can actually say yes to.
When a task feels vague or abstract, our brains freeze, avoid, or hyperfocus on the wrong things.
But when the next step is small, clear, and achievable?
You can start.
How I Used “Break It Down” to Become a Trainer
Once I clarified my purpose—to become a trainer—I felt more connected than ever.
But I also felt stuck. I had no idea where to begin.
I wasn’t a trainer. I didn’t have credentials. I didn’t even have energy most days.
The goal felt too big, so I froze.
But then I asked myself a better question:
What skills would a trainer need to have?
I started listing them. Coaching. Public speaking. Lesson planning. Active listening. Showing empathy.
Each skill became its own step.
And each step became its own practice.
I didn’t need to become a trainer overnight.
I just needed to act like one in small ways—until I started identifying as one.
How to Break It Down
The best way I’ve found to make a big skill feel manageable is using a tool I call the Skill Ladder. It helps you identify the smaller, trainable pieces that build up to the skill you’re developing.
Instead of guessing where to start, you map it out—rung by rung.
Want to see how it works (and why it help you brain focus)?
Step 3: Build Habits
Clarity helps you see the path. Habits help you stay on it.
Breaking the skill down gives you clarity. But clarity without consistency won’t get you far.
If your system only works when you’re “in the mood,” it’s not really a system - it’s a trap.
Repetition Builds Identity
When I earned my first opportunity to be a trainer, I didn’t just need new skills—I needed new habits.
I built the habit of breaking down material before I taught it.
I developed a routine for setting up the room.
I practiced how I’d open every session so I wouldn’t freeze or ramble.
These habits weren’t just helpful—they were essential. The more I repeated them, the less I had to think about them. They became automatic. Natural. Mine.
And the more I practiced those habits, the less I questioned whether I belonged. I stopped seeing myself as someone trying to be a trainer—and started seeing myself as someone who trains.
Repetition doesn’t just build skills—it builds identity.
But It Has to Be the Right Kind of Repetition
We hear “just keep showing up” all the time.
And yes—showing up matters. But not all repetition leads to growth.
Only focused repetition—the kind tied to real improvement and feedback—actually makes you better.
That’s what Anders Ericsson called deliberate practice in his book Peak:
“Purposeful, focused repetition with clear goals and feedback loops.”
It’s not about going through the motions.
It’s about showing up with intention—on purpose, not autopilot.
Because even a small, repeatable routine—done with care—does more than build skill.
It shapes how you see yourself.
Understanding the Habit Loop
Most people don’t fail because they don’t know what to do.
They fail because they haven’t built a system to support success.
That’s what the Habit Loop is:
A brain-based system you can build intentionally.
It has 3 parts:
Cue – a trigger that signals it’s time to begin
Routine – the action you repeat
Reward – something meaningful that reinforces the loop
Here’s what that loop looks like for me as a trainer:
Cue: I walk into the room and drop my bag on the desk.
Routine: I set up the chairs, review my opener, run through my first story.
Reward: I feel calm, focused, and ready.
My brain stopped asking, “Do you belong here?”
Because my routine answered, “Yes. You’re ready.”
That loop didn’t just prepare me—it rewired how I saw myself.
Why It Matters Even More with ADHD
If you have ADHD, you already know how this plays out.
We’re great at starting.
We love the spark, the idea, the rush of something new.
But as soon as the novelty fades, we crash. We move on. We chase the next dopamine hit.
It’s not because we’re lazy.
It’s not because we don’t care.
It’s because our brains need rhythm—not random bursts of energy.
The Habit Loop gives us rhythm—without requiring willpower.
But that rhythm takes time. And for ADHD brains, it comes with real challenges:
We forget the cue
We get distracted mid-routine
We miss the reward altogether
That’s why your loop has to be intentional—especially at the beginning.
How to Make Your Habit loop ADHD-Friendly
Make the cue obvious.
Use a visual reminder or change your environment to prompt the behavior.
Keep the routine short and simple.
Make it easy enough that your brain doesn’t argue.
Choose a meaningful reward.
Relief, pride, momentum—something that feels good and real.
When your loop is built with care, it starts doing more than creating progress.
It begins shaping who you are.
The brain learns through repetition.
But identity is built through action.
And every time you complete that loop—even in a small way—you’re casting a vote for the version of yourself you want to become.
Step 4: Reflect and Recalibrate
Repetition builds skill. Reflection builds mastery.
Repetition gave me confidence.
But confidence alone wasn’t enough to keep me growing.
I needed to get better—not just feel better.
And that didn’t happen through more reps.
It happened through a process I started calling reflective feedback.
After every training session, I’d ask myself:
What part of the training sparked the most engagement?
What felt awkward, confusing, or off?
When did energy dip or attention drop?
How could I ask that question differently next time to make it land?
That became my loop:
Do → Reflect → Adjust → Repeat
I wasn’t getting graded. No formal feedback forms.
But this was still deliberate practice—exactly what Anders Ericsson describes in Peak.
Repetition gave me identity.
Reflection gave me progress.
Why Reflection Matters
“Just keep doing it” only works if what you’re doing is actually working.
If you’re practicing the wrong thing—or just going through the motions—you’re not growing. You’re just reinforcing what’s not helping.
Real progress doesn’t come from repetition alone.
It comes from noticing what’s working, what’s not, and choosing to adjust.
Ericsson is clear: Deliberate practice requires feedback.
You don’t get better by accident.
You get better by adjusting.
Like Strength Training for Your Brain
Imagine a weightlifter who shows up every day, does the same routine with the same weights, same reps, same everything.
At first, progress shows up. Muscles grow. Confidence builds.
But over time, it stalls.
Effort? Still there.
Results? Flatlined.
That’s where most people stop.
But not the ones who grow.
They stop and ask:
Is my form off?
Is my recovery enough?
Do I need to change my tempo, rest, or volume?
They don’t quit.
They recalibrate.
Because pushing harder isn’t what leads to growth.
Adjusting smarter is.
What Recalibration Looks Like
Recalibration isn’t dramatic.
It doesn’t mean scrapping your plan or starting over.
Most of the time, it’s quiet. Subtle. Intentional.
Maybe it’s shifting your practice time to when you’re more focused.
Maybe it’s changing your environment to reduce distractions.
Maybe it’s letting go of what’s draining and doubling down on what drives you.
Small shifts. Big difference.
The ADHD Challenge: Reflection Isn’t Always Easy
For many of us—especially with ADHD—this part is harder than it sounds.
Reflection doesn’t come naturally.
And recalibration can feel like failure.
We avoid looking back because it feels overwhelming.
Or we cling to a perfect version of the plan we imagined.
But here’s the truth:
You don’t need a perfect plan.
You need a flexible one—one that bends with you instead of breaking you.
Reflection and recalibration isn’t about overhauling everything.
It’s about noticing.
It’s the moment you pause and ask, “What’s actually working—and what isn’t?”
The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is momentum—with awareness.
Because growth doesn’t live in the grind.
It lives in the pause.
Step 5: Repeat and Reinforce
You don’t just build skills. You become the person who uses them.
From Practice to Identity
Recalibrating helped me refine the skills I was building.
But what really locked those skills in—what made them stick—was when I started teaching them to other trainers.
Explaining the how and why of something forces you to slow down and get clear.
And when I shared the skills I’d developed, I wasn’t just helping someone else—I was reinforcing them in my own brain.
Every time I broke something down for someone else, I was building it more deeply in myself.
It wasn’t just repetition for repetition’s sake.
It was repetition with meaning.
That’s what Step 5 is about:
Reinforcing what works—until it becomes who you are.
Why Repetition Matters
You don’t build fluency by doing something once.
You build it by showing up again and again with intention.
But not all repetition creates progress.
Repeat the wrong thing—and you just get better at doing it wrong.
That’s where intentionality comes in.
Think of a basketball player practicing free throws.
One takes 100 shots, going through the motions.
The other takes 30—with focus. Adjusting grip. Correcting stance. Tracking results.
Who improves faster?
The one who reflects and adjusts.
That’s the heart of Step 5:
Don’t just repeat.
Repeat with purpose. Repeat what works.
Ask yourself:
What’s working?
What’s worth repeating?
What am I reinforcing?
Because the more you repeat with care, the more your brain believes:
“This is who I am now.”
Building A Rhythm That Works for You
Repetition is hard—especially when your brain isn’t wired for predictability.
Most of the time, the issue isn’t willpower.
It’s the system.
Rigid routines break when life shifts.
Overcomplicated plans collapse when energy dips.
And for many of us, “just do it again” feels more like pressure than support.
That’s why this step isn’t about creating a perfect routine.
It’s about designing a rhythm—something flexible, forgiving, and sustainable.
A rhythm is different.
It doesn’t demand perfection. It adapts.
It makes space for real life.
Especially for ADHD brains—or anyone wired for novelty, not repetition—traditional consistency doesn’t work.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t build something repeatable.
It means you need a rhythm that:
Allows for variety
Tracks visible progress
Honors energy, not just effort
Leaves room for joy and curiosity
Your brain doesn’t need rigidity.
It needs trust. It needs rhythm.
It needs a system that meets you where you are—and helps you return when you drift.
This Is How You Finish the Scaffold
You don’t finish the scaffold by reaching a perfect endpoint.
You finish it by building something you can return to—again and again.
Because at this point, you’ve done more than learn.
You’ve built the system that will help you grow.
Not just once.
Not just when motivation hits.
But every time you come back to it—with care, clarity, and purpose.
The Skills Scaffold Workbook is Coming Soon!
We're currently building a full, free workbook that will guide you step-by-step through mastering skill-building — for real.
Stay tuned — and in the meantime, follow along with each blog post and podcast episode to start laying your foundation.
